China's Next Great Leap: Reincarnation, Resurrection and Hubris

The Communist People's Republic of China while extending its sovereignty over the afterlife of its citizens (both actual and Tibetans) plans to set up a department to deal with reincarnation and resurrection of its dearly departed dictators and generals, certain reports indicate. The very first batch of reincarnated or resurrected souls are likely to include that of Mao Zedong and other important Communist leaders of China. The inspiration behind this seems to be the strong stand China has taken on the question of the reincarnation of the present Dalai Lama.  The spiritual head of Tibetan Buddhism has more than once indicated that he might not reincarnate at all, ending centuries old Tibetan Buddhism tradition.


 However the Chinese administration has severely criticized the statement and has ruled that the question of his reincarnation is not for His Holiness to decide. Rather, it is the Chinese administration which has the final say over the afterlife of Tibetan Buddhism's supreme leader.  The atheistic Communist Party of China member and current head of head of the Ethnic and Religious Affairs Committee, Mr Zhu, in classic Orwellian double-speak says

"Decision-making power over the reincarnation of the Dalai Lama, and over the end or survival of this lineage, resides in the central government of China"

While the Chinese government has spared no effort to denounce the Dalai Lama as a traitor, opportunist, "wolf in monk's robes"  and labels normally applied to dissenters of Communist Party of China, the Chinese officials are hopeful that, under covert official supervision and manipulation, the selection by a sacred ritual involving participation of senior monks, visiting sacred Lake and divining dreams would be successful and the 15th reincarnated Dalai Lama would be selected following the sacred tradition. The only break from the tradition  would be that the new Dalai Lama would be ensured to be much more loyal to the party and the State.

Notwithstanding  the interest Prime Minister Xi Jinping has recently shown renewed interest in dialectic materialism of Marx and Lenin, the Chinese administration is completely devoted to continuance of the post of the highest spiritual leader of Tibetians Buddhism and vehemently insists that the current Dalai Lama reincarnate and more importantly, that the final authority over it rest with the  Communist Party of China. Speculations are rife that the party may not stop with the Dalai Lama.

Sources indicate that a new department is being constituted, which when roughly translated means "Department of Afterlife and Hubris",  to deal with reincarnation and resurrection of other people who the party thinks would further embolden their rising military assertiveness in the region and the world.

Of course Marx and Angel and even Lenin are out of question given their dedication to materialism, their souls, if they exist might refuse to take part in such intellectual heresy. But Mao and his more pragmatic as well as ruthless aides are said to be first on the line to be reincarnated.  Sources also indicate that applications are also being accepted from living persons but strictly from the members of the party only, religious people have been asked not to apply as the state is firmly committed to atheism and shuns all religions from matters of the State.

PS: This post is partly, an April Fool prank, just in case someone failed to notice :P 
 Partly a prank because everything about Chinese authority's stand on the Dalai Lama's reincarnation issue is true, including the quote. The statements about new department and all are fictitious ;)