A Tribute To Myself

The other day I was sitting on the toilet pondering on the nature of things when suddenly it occured to me and I was really surprised that I had not yet realised how great I am! A door to my subconscious was opened, I felt a lot clearer now and could then recognize those random itsy-bitsy acts of mine for what they really were- marvelous deeds of a genius. In my arrogance I had overlooked my own brilliance and was instead appreciating the mediocrity of my fellow humans. In that moment of awakening I could almost feel the warmth of the radiant halo that must have been around my head though I couldn't see it myself. I was sorely tempted to seek someone else's assistance to just make sure but decided against it as I realised that showing my posteriority to someone else was not a good idea especially with my pants bunched around my ankles.


So I pulled up my trouser and socks and settled down to write this tribute to myself. I am fully aware that no one who knows me would recognize my greatness but that does not bother me at all. Even I myself, am not very sure why I should be considered great except that the thought came to me when I was answering nature's call. Throughout human history many a great ideas have come to great men and women as they sat performing this most intimate and private function of the human body so why should my thought be considered part of the crap just because I cannot not justify it ?


Many years from now someone might look back and confirm that this particular idea of mine should have been flushed down with the rest of the crap but till then I don't see a reason why I should not consider myself great and pay tribute to myself.


Note : I had composed this as a April Fool joke but didn't have the guts to post it. But Behan Mayawati's chutzpa a couple of days back was truly inspiring. . In case you are wondering what Im talking about, you might have missed the news item, "Mayawati unveils her own statue" !
Im thinking of changing the title of this post to "A tribute to myself, Behan Mayawati and all fellow narcissists"
:D

Posted By Danish 1:49 AM

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The 8-Tag

Taking up Busybee's tag "athe pe atha".

8 things Im passionate about:
(not in same order)
1. The first one is not a "thing" but a person.
2. Myself :D
3. Knowledge (R-W-X includes books, tv,gadgets...)
4. My ideology/principles
5. My friends
6. Team India
7. Hacking (its not what the media potrays )
8. Madhuri Dixit
Im also passionate about rights like the right to privacy which Busybee violated :D

8 things I want to do before I die:

1. Discover elixir of life !
If I really actually have to die

2. Do something to leave the world a tiny bit better place than the world I was born into.
3. Clear all dues, monetary and otherwise.(this actually covers everything)
4. Write a book (maybe more than one)
5. Spend a few days with ... in a beach resort or hill station.

I dont have a lot of plans but may be I would like to do stuffs like meet Amitabh Bachchan, Madhuri Dixit and a few other celebs in person.
I cant think of anything else at the moment.( that are not x-rated :D )

8 things I always say.
i make conscious effort to not repeat words or phrases. But i'll still try to come up with a list.
1. Hi, hey, wassup, ASAK.
2. Sh*t, F*ck, d@mn, most vernacular slangs ( i notice that while i have no problems writing english slangs even if with * im not comfy doing the same with vernacular slangs- double standards ? )

3. Its simple/Its logical
4. I told you so.
5. Thank God, Alhamdulillah (Praise be to God)
6. Puhlease
7. Actually, obviously,really
8. Ok, tata, bye-bye, tc,ciao, phir milenge

8 books I have read recently:
I was really surprised that I remember the names and order :

1. Ibn Arabi's Heir to the Prophets.
2. Deathly Hallows
3. Been re-reading the Gita
4. Digital Fortress
5. The Bretheren
6. Athabasca
7. Bourne Legacy
8. 1984 by Orwell

8 songs I could listen to again and again :

1. Tere mere milan ki ye raina (Abhiman: Kishore/Lata )
2. Humein Tum Se Pyar Kitna (Kudrat: Kishore)
3. Karz numbers including Om Shanti Om and Ek Haseena thi by Kishore and Dard-E-Dil by Rafi.
4. Ye daulat bhi le lo ( Jagjit Singh)
5. Dil hoom hoom kare (Rudali: Bhupen Hazarika and Lata Mangeshkar)
6. Ka Karoon Sajani ( Sawan Ko Aane Do: Yesudas)
7. Allah Ke Bande (Waise Bhi Hota Hai- 2 : Kailash Kher)
8. Maa (Tare Zameen Par: Shankar Mahadevan)

8 things that attract me to my best friends :

1. Intelligence/Wit
2. Some degree of sophistication (I cant stand people with crass mentality)
3. Adherence to an ideology/religion.
4. Sense of humor.
5. Unorthodox/ Open to change.
6. Willingness and capability to participate unannounced and spontaneous verbal duels any time of the day or night.
7. Sucker for knowledge in any form.
8. Compassion

I pass the tag to Ghalib Fan (just found him back in bee's blog ), Angel, Zaina, Tanzim, PG, Phoenix and anyone who visits this post.

Posted By Danish 8:44 PM

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On Parochialism and Xenophobia

There seems to be a misunderstanding among a section of Indians that democracy is only about being able to elect a government. Such a democracy would be soul-less, farcical and at best a kind of dictatorship where the dictator is not one person but a group of like-minded individuals. I wouldn't call it an oligarchy because there is some semblance of democratic principles in an oligarchy too but there is none in a democracy that allows fascistic rule. The essence of democracy does not consist in just entrusting the individual with the right to hold a different opinion but also in accepting the right of others to hold diverse opinions. This also means that one has right to protest against opinions of others but all forms of protests should conform to the democratic norms and the founding principles of the civil society.
In recent times I have observed that while debating on a controversial issue participants usually generalize issues instead of judging every issue based on it's own merit. At times even a wrongful act is sought to be justified by citing similar instances in the past. The most gruesome instance is the post-Godhra riots where the Chief Minister justified genocide by dubbing it as a 'reaction' to the Godhra train carnage. Raj Thackeray's statement against non-Maharashtrians and his next statement justifying it by drawing analogy with instances of parochialism in other parts of India is another such instance. Mr. Thackeray has missed two fine points while generalizing his parochialism. The first and the most important part is that two wrongs do not make a right. He has a valid point when he says that political parties in Tamil Nadu that have links with the LTTE are equally parochial as are those people of West Bengal who come out on streets protesting Saurav Ganguly's exclusion from team India. However, his lack of understanding on why the media and general populace has singled him out and his allegation against Amitabh Bachchan proves that Raj Thackeray lacks the subtlety something as complex as human emotions. Patriotism, communalism, regionalism and all such isms are two-edged swords, their negative and positive ramifications depend on the individual.
People tend to see these ideologies as divisive and they are not very wrong when one sees that most ideologies in recent times have been propagated to divide the society and spread discord but when viewed from another perspective these ideologies appear as something natural, unifying and desirable. They are desirable when they form the basis of inclusiveness but are certainly undesirable when they form the basis of an ideology that advocates exclusiveness and apathy. Let us take the case of patriotism, patriotism means loving and caring for one's country-men but the meaning is often distorted to create hatred towards people not belonging to one's own country. The same applies to regionalism, it forms the basis of expressing solidarity with people belonging to one own region but often it is exploited to ferment hatred towards the outsiders. Affection and loyalty towards one's own immediate community is natural and desirable, one cannot love all the people in the world equally, some have to be dearer than others and the former always are people with whom one shares linguistic, ethnic, cultural, religious and other bonds. As the sphere of interaction widens and one becomes member of larger groups with lesser degree of commonality the affection does decrease but there is no reason why it should be replaced with animosity towards those with whom one has lesser bonding.
So from one perspective groupism consist of inclusiveness or finding commonalities and forging bonds with more and more people instead of being hostile or apathetic towards them but from another perspective, groupism consists of exclusiveness or finding out differences and antagonizing which progressively increases as the spectrum of commonality widens. If Amitabh Bachchan's contribution towards UP reflects anything it his affection for the state as well as the country and not apathy for Maharashtra or any other state. It is really unfortunate that his philanthropy was dragged into a mire of controversy which culminated into acts of mindless violence.
Senior politicians, conscientious citizens and the media have been quick and vociferous in condemning and have in the process given him publicity the likes of which he could only dream. In fact Baba Amte's death went largely unlamented as the media as well as the people were so engrossed in the ongoing slugfest.
Anyway, this controversy has reached its zenith, it will gradually climb down and disappear, TV audience gets bored fast and since Raj Thackeray and Abu Azmi have both been arrested and released on bail one can expect this controversy to die out changing nothing except making both these individuals a bit more famous than they had been. There has been abundant criticism of the media for giving the issue a lot more space than was due to it. But the question remains, was the issue handled correctly? Raj Thackeray may have been vilified by the media but the massive press exposure has actually helped him consolidate his base. What needs to be tackled is the sentiment that Thackeray exploited to gain political mileage. It should not be forgotten that a segment of the population, however small, does have a parochial mindset and the Thackerays have always exploited/aggravated their xenophobia for political gains. As we move towards globalization it becomes urgently necessary that efforts be made to educate the masses on necessity of tolerance and co-existence. In a democratic and heterogeneous country like India tolerating aggressive parochial ideologies can be dangerous and detrimental to the nation.

Posted By Danish 5:14 PM

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Magnanimity or Pawar ?

Team India forgives Brad Hogg after bringing charges against him of verbally abusing Kumble and Dhoni. It is a noble gesture , a gesture that reflects the Indian ethos and the genuine sporting spirit. It goes without saying that one expects the Aussies to drop charges against Bhajji as a gesture of reciprocation but the fact is that the Aussies have done no such thing as yet. At this point of time it is not clear whether Kumble's decision was part of a deal but even if we assume that a deal had made the question still remains, 'was it a fair deal?'

The Sydney test fiasco had taken India-Australia cricket relations to an all-time low, it was in the interest of cricket that differences be set aside and both the teams take initiatives to normalize relations. Australia being the host team should have taken the first step in this direction and the person in the centre of the controversy did take the first step but in the opposite direction. Andrew Symonds again took a dig on Bhajji by issuing a statement on Sunday. One would expect Indians to react in a similar manner but bizarrely, Anil Kumble & Co decided to withdraw complaint against Hogg even after Ponting had turned down Kumble's request to withdraw charges against Bhajji. Forgiveness is a virtue but in an instance where the offending party expresses no regret, the concept of forgiveness loses all meaning. It is then seen as a meek surrender which makes the aggressor more aggressive. This may actually send a wrong message to Ricky Ponting and his boys making them think that they reserve the right to sledge, abuse and cheat and other teams do not possess the right to protest either. Lately, Ricky Ponting's arrogance has acquired such dimensions that he doesn't hesitate from using his sledging tactics even against media After all, they have been sledging and cheating the whole series and the officials have actually been conniving with them instead of restraining them.

It is still unclear what made Kumble drop charges against Hogg, Pawar's aspiration for ICC top job may have influenced the decision but as of yet no one is telling. I wouldn't like to believe that Indian cricket can be one man's fiefdom Let us just hope that Kumble's gesture was one of magnanimity and sportman spirit and not a decision that has been forced on him by the board.

Posted By Danish 5:14 PM

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Sydney Fiasco

India lost the test and Bhajji banned for 3 matches! Well, that doesn't disappoint Indian cricket fans, it never was a fair game, the Aussies had 14 players on the ground in response to 11 Indians. The extra three were umpires of course. This was an unusual match, teams and fans have been outraged by behaviour of officials earlier too and in various games but this test match stands out because the Indian teams and fans have been left more than outraged. When Symonds was declared not out by the third umpire and he went on to score a ton and a half Indians felt wronged but nonetheless accepted it as something natural and unintentional. But things didn't look that unbiased when Dravid and Ganguly were declared out wrongly.Both the batsmen had the calibre to win the game or at least draw it but it seemed the umpires had decided on whose favor the game should go. It is really intriguing why the umpire thought that Dravid was out when the ball was missing the bat by a mile. However, Ganguly's dismissal was just too gross, Clarke had grounded the ball but umpire Benson thought Ricky Ponting's word was enough and the third umpire shouldn'tbe consulted. Those two dismissals cost India the match and allowed Australia to create a record of 16 consecutive wins but this could and should be the turning point of world cricket. 10 wrong umpiring decisions against India cost the match, the fans and cricket lovers were outraged but then came the match referee's decision to ban Harbhajan for 3 tests on charges of racism! This goes well beyond outrage... Everyone saw Symonds and Bhajji exchanging words on the field but for some peculiar reason only Bhajji was charged and Symonds wasn't even charged. Later on, during the hearing the match referee held Bhajji guilty even though there were no evidences at all. Mike Proctor is convinced of Harbhajan's guilt because Ponting and Hayden say so, Sachin's testimony doesn't count. Now all of us know how truthful the Aussies especially their skipper had been during the match to take their word as the truth and punish Harbhajan. Maybe Bhajji did call Symonds a "monkey" but I dont see how it can be construed as a racist remark. The Aussies had been provoking Bhajji since a long time, what Hayden told him back in India was far more racist and malicious, there was one time when he just got worked up but to amount it to racism is plainly stupid. From the start to finish this test match was a fiasco and ten wrong decisions against one team and banning of a player cannot be unintentional and fair. If indeed the decisions were unbiased how would do you explain Steve Bucknor's maximum wrong decisions having costed India heavily ? Surely, the match officials must be aware of the kind of sledging the Aussies do. How can they then take Ponting's word and first wrongly declare a key Indian batsman out and then convict another on charges of racial slurring ? However, the most vital question is why are teams from the Indian subcontinent are always on the recieving end when it comes to ICC rules or erroneous umpire decisions? I am sure Steve Bucknor will go the same way as Darell Hair did after that ignonimous decision against Pakistan but team,BCCI and fans from the subcontinent need to take steps so that their team members are not unduly victimised. After all, cricket has ceased being an English sport.

Update:
Sharing a mail I recieved.

After watching the test match, I feel some rules have to be incorporated by ICC to give the other teams a perfect clarification

(1) Ricky Ponting – (THE TRULY GENUINE CRICKETER OF THE CRICKET ERA AND WHOSE INTEGRITY SHOULD NOT BE DOUBTED ) should be considered as the FOURTH UMPIRE. As per the new rules, FOURTH UMPIRE decision is final and will over ride any decisions taken by any other umpires. ON-FIELD umpires can seek the assistance of RICKY PONTING even if he is not on the field. This rule is to be made, so that every team should understand the importance of the FOURTH UMPIRE.

(2) While AUSTRALIAN TEAM is bowling, If the ball flies anywhere close to the AUSTRALIAN FIELDER(WITHIN 5 metre distance), the batsman is to be considered OUT irrelevant of whether the catch was taken cleanly or grassed. Any decision for further clarification should be seeked from the FOURTH UMPIRE. This is made to ensure that the cricket is played with SPORTIVE SPIRIT by all the teams.

(3) While BATTING, AUSTRALIAN players will wait for the ON-FIELD UMPIRE decisions only (even if the catch goes to the FIFTH SLIP as the ball might not have touched the bat). Each AUSTRALIAN batsman has to be out FOUR TIMES (minimum) before he can return to the pavilion. In case of THE CRICKETER WITH INTEGRITY, this can be higher.

(4) UMPIRES should consider a huge bonus if an AUSTRALIAN player scores a century. Any wrong decisions can be ignored as they will be paid huge bonus and will receive the backing of the AUSTRALIAN team and board.

(5) All AUSTRALIAN players are eligible to keep commenting about all players on the field and the OPPONENT TEAM should never comment as they will be spoiling the spirit of the AUSTRALIAN team. Any comments made in any other language are to be considered as RACIALISM only.

(6) MATCH REFREE decisions will be taken purely on the AUSTRALIAN TEAM advices only. Player views from the other teams decisions will not be considered for hearing. MATCH REFREES are to be given huge bonus if this rule is implemented.

(7) NO VISITING TEAM should plan to win in AUSTRALIA. This is to ensure that the sportive spirit of CRICKET is maintained.
(8) THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE : If any bowler gets RICKY PONTING - "THE UNDISPUTED CRICKETER WITH INTEGTIRY IN THE GAME OF CRICKET" more than twice in a series, he will be banned for the REST OF THE SERIES. This is to ensure that the best batsman/Captain will be played to break records and create history in the game of CRICKET.

These rules will clarify better to the all the teams VISITING AUSTRALIA.

Posted By Danish 3:53 PM

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