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Monday, July 12, 2010

Paul Shows The Way To Error-Free 2014

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Posted by: danish Ahmed 5:29 AM

As the FIFA World Cup 2010 comes to an end, FlFA officials are deliberating on  proposed changes to the rules for 2014 World Cup matches to be held in Brazil. Initially the talks were centered around the use of technology in future games to avoid referee mistakes which have had a considerable effect on the course of the tournament but now the discussions have shifted on the role psychic animals could play in the next World Cup.



Despite some very good performances by great players from across the World, the real star of the World Cup 2010 has been Paul the so-called "psychic" Octopus living in Sea Life Centre in Germany, who first rose to prominence by accurately predicting the outcomes of 4 out of 6 matches of  Germany's in Euro 2008. However,  his 100% accuracy rate of his predictions in the World Cup 2010, has turned the timid marine creature into a global  celebrity.  Since the 8-armed Oracle's prediction has been so accurate as to take away even excitement from the games, the FlFA is considering a complete overhaul and introduce a new form of the game in the next World Cup. According to reliable sources,FlFA might do away with the national teams and instead construct a huge aquarium on the soccer field and have Paul chose the winner.



This move is bound to attract a lot of criticism but FlFA spokesperson Hadnis Demah says, "Of course, we are not going to reduce the World Cup to such a farce! It would be too premature to make a press statement,all I can say is that it is not going to be as simple as us declaring a team as World Champions based on an Octopus's random behaviour. The players would be there too!"  Demah continuous, "However, we would make sure that Paul's behavior is not random and is based on his clairvoyant ability.We are already investigating on reports of other animals possessing psychic skills, especially a Parakeet in Singapore. Although their predictions have not been as accurate we can surely employ them in the league matches, but from the group stage, it has to be Paul who decides the winner.

"But don't forget!", he adds,"the teams, aong with their players and coaches would also be there." Insiders have revealed off the record that as per the  proposal the players would be on the ground for celebration rituals such as hugging,taking victory laps,piling up on each other, taking a jig, taking off their jerseys etc after Paul declares their team as the winner. It wouldn't be the same for the coaches as they would not be allowed to yell or in any manner interact with Paul.

The initial reaction coming in from across the world has been a mixed one. While the purists are outraged at the very thought of it, others, especially fans of teams that had been at the receiving end because of mistakes commmitted by match officials are less critical. After all, it would be killing two birds with one stone, they would not only be able to avoid human errors but also ensure that Octopus Paul's rate of accuracy remains impeccable. May the best team win.

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